I took mum on the once-in-a-lifetime safari she thought she’d never have
Abigail Butcher celebrates her 50th birthday with her mother, Christine, at Madikwe game reserve in South Africa
“Do you think that poor elephant is still waiting for the water to turn on?” asked my mum, in the darkness. It was 2am, and we’d both woken at the same time, lying side by side in twin beds at a lodge in Madikwe game reserve South Africa. “He looked so sad.”
Earlier that evening, as the sun began to paint pinks, reds and oranges across the sky as it dipped towards the Dwarsberg Mountains, we’d seen a young male elephant snuffling around a watering hole inlet with his trunk; willing it to flow. From the comfort of our jeep, rugs over laps, we watched in dismay as he grew increasingly frustrated, the sunlight no longer strong enough to drive the solar-powered pump that sucked water from deep underground.
Madikwe is South Africa’s fifth largest game reserve and blissfully uncrowded – thanks to a ban on day-trippers
Moments earlier, we’d been absorbed by the sight of another elephant scratching his eye with his trunk; an exquisitely delicate action for the imposing 6,000kg animal. Our wildlife guide St John Gunn had added, softly: “That trunk can hold up to 10 litres of water but it can also pick up a peanut...”
This was our first safari and it couldn’t have been more perfect. I’d asked my 75-year-old mother, Christine, to join me on this trip of a lifetime to celebrate my 50th birthday, and to provide for her the sort of adventure she’d probably given up hope of experiencing after losing my dad two years ago.
While Mum has been on a couple of European breaks, a river cruise and a walking holiday with friends in recent years, going further afield is a more challenging prospect for any septuagenarian, as I discovered while planning this trip. It’s not just because of the loss of confidence that comes with losing a lifelong partner and travel companion; once you tip over 70 everything from travel insurance, car hire and even travel jabs needs more thought – and Mum is still fit and well with no mobility issues. In fact, she is so capable that any attempt to help her so much as wheel a case is met with derision.
‘Nothing prepares you for that first glimpse of African game’
Madikwe was the second of three stops on our 10-day trip, and our wildlife encounters came thick and fast. The 750km2 reserve is South Africa’s fifth largest and blissfully uncrowded thanks to a ban on day-trippers; only guests staying at the lodges are allowed in.
We saw lions stretched out in the tall, yellow grass, bellies tight and breathing laboured after satiating themselves with a kill; inquisitive rhino peering at a lioness with her cubs; watchful zebra and wildebeest, comical warthogs – probably my favourite of all, tails always aloft – as well as oryx, hyena and a pack of wild dogs, among the most endangered species on the African continent.
There were birds, too, some 300 species in Madikwe, their names as mesmerising as their feathers; from the purple-crested roller to the crimson-breasted shrike, a pale chanting goshawk and chestnut-vented tit babbler – St John reeling off their common and scientific names and other information like an encyclopaedia; we soaked it up like sponges.
The pair stayed at Last Word Madikwe, a six-bedroom former farmhouse in the western section of the Madikwe Game Reserve - Melissa Brown
Even the downtime was nature-filled. Our lodge, Last Word Madikwe, a six-bedroom former farmhouse in the western section of the reserve, was chosen by our tour operator Bushbaby, based on my requests for a “safe adventure”, with plenty of elephants (which Mum had always wanted to see), no malaria and an affordable price. It provided prime views from the lawn, thanks to the watering hole at the foot of its garden. When herds of elephants arrived, we crept into the underground hide to watch them interact from close quarters. I’d steal a glance at Mum and delight in seeing her utterly transfixed.
We’d flown into Johannesburg, taking a private transfer directly up to our first stop, the long-established Ant’s Nest in the Waterberg bushveld. Slightly dazed by the change in culture and 11-hour flight, it couldn’t have been more welcoming with relaxed, friendly staff and like-minded, laid-back guests. We fell in love instantly with the poolside thatched cottages and a lawn bordered with protea and heavily scented acacia, from which weaver birds were busily starting to construct little hanging globes.
Founder and owner Ant Baber, huge in both stature and personality, can trace his family history in this region back to 1820. In the mid 1990s, he turned this 12,500-acre plot from cattle ranch to a game reserve that is now home to a thriving number of species from banded mongoose to giraffe and two of the Big Five – rhino and African buffalo – as well as around 120 free-roaming horses.
Last Word Madikwe’s private poolside villas offer prime views over the game reserve - Trevor Kolk
When our taxi pulled into the gates we came immediately face-to-face with zebras and wildebeest studying our approach. Mum and I are country folk, a farming family, but nothing prepares you for that first glimpse of African game.
It was here, while galloping through sicklebush on Nala, a tall, bay thoroughbred with the kindest nature, that I turned 50, two days after our arrival. The homely atmosphere at Ant’s had carefully nurtured our adjustment to the bush, each of us unwinding in our own time and space. After a first safari together we settled into separate patterns – I rode while Mum walked or drove through the bush with Mexican ranger Sebastian, who guided her safely to our nightly rendezvous for sundowners.
Riding allows you to get within feet of wildlife which sees and smells the horse, not the human, and so feels no threat
Around 6pm, all nine guests converged for gin, tonic and the obligatory biltong while watching the sun set across Africa’s raw, huge skies. The horses, hot and dusty after carrying us for two hours, were set loose – they roam as free as any other animal here, fostering familiarity between them and the game, allowing you to get within feet of wildlife which sees and smells the horse, not the human, and so feels no threat.
‘Our relationship had taken a lot of strain, but that dissolved’
After two long years of stress and grief, Mum and I unfolded beneath the warmth of the African sun. Our relationship had taken a lot of strain since Dad died, but that dissolved as we became absorbed in the life-affirming experience of being on safari.
After dinner, eaten together at long tables under trees on the lawn, in the old family dining room or out on the reserve, there was little energy for star-gazing or soaking up the fire pits. Tired and fulfilled after long, busy days we couldn’t wait to clamber up into our four-poster beds for the type of easy, restful sleep that happiness brings. The pleasant, cool temperatures of South African spring helped, too.
At the end of the day, all nine guests converged for gin, tonic and the obligatory biltong while watching the sun set
After six days in the bush at Ant’s and then Madikwe, we flew by light plane back to Johannesburg – a thrilling, 45-minute hop – and then on down to Cape Town to acclimatise back to reality with a final three days at Long Beach, Kommetjie, on the Atlantic coast.
Nearly an hour’s drive from the city, Last Word’s boutique hotel, right on the beach, was the ideal way to cleanse ourselves of bush dust; inspired by watching surfers, I jumped into the waves every morning while Mum watched on. Careful not to do too much, we spent one day exploring downtown and our last visiting the Cape of Good Hope and climbing up to the lighthouse, laughing as we braced ourselves against the wind to take photographs from the edge of the African continent, on the way home visiting penguins at Boulders Beach and browsing the boutiques in Simon’s Town and Kalk Bay, filling our luggage with souvenirs from such a rich adventure.
The final three days in South Africa were spent at Long Beach, Kommetjie, on the Atlantic coast
My worries about turning 50 entirely dissipated in South Africa as I realised how lucky I was to be growing older and able to travel with my fit, healthy mother, who had grown in confidence and visibly relaxed every day. We spent 10 days forming precious, core memories that would stay with us for life.
Mum and I flew home from Cape Town on the day my father would have turned 80. A wildlife lover and friend of creatures big and small, Dad would have been so pleased that Mum and I had this adventure together, and may there be many more. Hakuna matata...
How to do it
Bushbaby (0345 124 4455) specialises in tailor-made holidays for families. A 10-day trip to South Africa in summer 2026, including three nights at Ant’s Nest, all-inclusive, three nights at Last Word Madikwe, all-inclusive, and three nights at Last Word Cape Town, B&B, costs £5,250 per adult based on two sharing. Price includes all park and conservation fees, direct flights with British Airways to Johannesburg and from Cape Town, FlySafair internal flight from Johannesburg to Cape Town and private transfers throughout.
Abigail Butcher was a guest of Ant’s Safaris, Last Word Hotels and Bushbaby.
Top tips for adventure travel with an older parent
Health considerations
We chose South Africa because it is mainly malaria-free and we didn’t need yellow fever jabs, which can cause serious side effects in people over 60. Similarly, those over 65 have a higher risk of developing severe or complicated malaria and while there’s no specific risk for healthy elderly people taking antimalarials, if they are on additional medication, for example for a cardiac condition, there may be contraindications. The website is a great resource.
Travel insurance
This can become significantly more restricted in choice and expensive for over-70s, so worth factoring in to the cost of your holiday. Make sure it is in place at the time of booking, with no upper age limit, and that you have declared all and any pre-existing health conditions and have cancellation cover included.
Paper versus online
My mum is fairly tech-savvy but Bushbaby sent a printed itinerary and wildlife leaflets in a folder, which I found old-fashioned at first but soon grew to love. I do everything online but Mum likes to read it on paper – something I will do from now on, too.
Car hire
Some care hire companies don’t lend to senior drivers or charge extra, so again, plan in advance if you need one.
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