A traumatic experience at 13 years old inspired a lifelong passion for Danielle

When she was just 13 years old, Danielle Calvaresi's grandmother passed away.

Looking at her before the funeral, Calvaresi recalls her grandmother looking "grey and waxy", an image so negative it's stuck with her to this day, more than 30 years later.

But it was also a moment that would inspire a passion for her future career.

Today, Calvaresi is a Funeral Consultant and Vice Chairman of the Australian Institute of Embalming.

"I just began a fascination, and I wanted to be able to do the job so people would be able to have a positive last view of their loved one," she tells nine.com.au.

"Because I think that is really, really important, because it will always stay with you if it's negative."

But it wasn't a clear path for Calvaresi. She started her career as a beauty therapist, before welcoming her daughter 10 years later and deciding that it was now or never.

She got a job in a funeral home, and when a mortuary technician left, she started to gain experience in the mortuary.

Eventually, she was able to do an embalming course – an education that she explains is only available to those already working in a funeral home.

Danielle Calvaresi decided to follow her passion of working in a funeral home after welcoming her daughter.

While Calvaresi encounters plenty who think that embalming is simply 'putting makeup on', she explains that it's a much more scientific process than people assume.

She says that the process involves removing blood and replacing it with fluid to help sanitize and preserve the body, but it's not a one-size-fits-all situation.

"There is a big science behind it because it depends on how long they're going to be in your care for, what they passed away from, the condition they were in when they came into your care," Calvaresi says.

"There are a lot of factors you have to take into consideration when choosing the chemical."

Thanks to film and TV, there's this preconceived idea that embalmers are "creepy people" working in dark basements, which Calvaresi says is one of the biggest misconceptions about her role.

"We're very normal. I mean, I'm sure there are a few oddballs out there somewhere, but everyone that I know, we're just normal people," she says.

She explains that to be able to do the job, you need to look at it technically rather than emotionally.

It was her own grandmothers death that inspired Calvaresi to pursue the career.

"If you get emotionally caught up, you won't last in the business, unfortunately," she says.

"You have to be able to sort of put up a wall ... to make sure it's going to be a positive viewing experience."

But there's no denying the job takes its toll. Calvaresi explains that some of the cases she sees are "quite traumatic", adding that debriefing with her coworkers is what helps her leave her work behind when she goes home at the end of the day.

"Humour is a big thing. Not at the expense of anyone, of course, but you'll notice a lot of people in the funeral industry are some of the funniest people you will meet," she says.

"We need to be able to lean on each other for that emotional support, so we're not taking it home, so we can switch off before we leave."

Of course, the role hasn't just affected Calvaresi emotionally; it's also altered her own relationship with mortality.

She says that, like anyone, she wants to live as long as possible. But working in her field has given her a "different view on life", questioning her choices more than most.

Calvaresi says that working in the industry has affected her own relationship with death.

But it's her own experience all those years ago that keeps her love for the job from fading.

"I've been in the position where they haven't looked peaceful, and it does leave sort of like a mark on you," she says.

"So, being able to give families that one last chance to hold their hand, to see their face one more time, it just gives me goosebumps even just saying it. That's what keeps me coming back."

Produced in partnership with CareerOne.