Baci Hillyer makes a living by coaching people through their own death

At 15 years old, Baci Hillyer lost her brother and dad within five months of each other.

Her dad passed away from cancer just six months after being diagnosed, and shortly after, her brother was involved in a fatal car crash.

Hillyer tells nine.com.au that the experience was "very traumatic," but now, she sees that it's helped her realise her "calling" in life.

Decades later, a friend of Hillyer's told her that her mother was dying. Having lived with her grief for so long, Hillyer was able to help her friend's mother through the experience.

"I sort of didn't really understand that I had a skill in this area. I just assumed everybody was as death-comfortable as me," she recalls.

After that, Hillyer enrolled in a professional end-of-life doula course and started volunteering at a palliative care facility, before going on to work professionally as an end-of-life consultant at a hospice.

Baci Hillyer worked in corporate fields before realising her

Today, Hillyer works full-time as a death doula, even founding her own company Deadicate, with the goal of "changing the conversation around death".

"If you lean into your mortality and you have some conversations, it changes everything," she says.

"It changes your relationship with life, with your family, with your pets, with the earth, with your holiday – it changes everything when you know that it's going to end.

"It's really shaped how I take on life. I also know how precious people are, how precious life is, how precious relationships are, and what it is to lose suddenly, what it is to be able to say goodbye. It shapes who you are."

She says that the loss of her dad and brother completely transformed the way she lives.

Hillyer says that the role of an end-of-life consultant should be as essential as that of a dentist or accountant.

Although the role is non-medical, Hillyer explains that she slips in and out of the medical profession and any interdisciplinary practices.

"We empower people at the end of life, which could really be from the moment that you are diagnosed with a disease until your last breath, to your funeral, to after-death care and ceremony, ritual, and bereavement," she explains.

"What we do is we show up and provide resources and support, and empower the person who's dying and the people who are supporting them and the families, and empower them with decision-making."

She says that she hopes one day the role will become normalised.

Essentially, Hillyer says her role is to coach people through accepting their own mortality, so that not only is their death easier on them, but their families, too.

Although some people are terrified of the concept, Hilyler often finds herself sharing a reminder that those who do little to accept and prepare for their own death often leave painful work behind for grieving loved ones.

"It's really an amazing job to do to help people because they really need it. It's a tough time, really challenging," she says.

Essentially, she coaches people through their own death to make transition easier on them and their family.

"We've really learned to speak about menopause, grief, sexuality – I'm really passionate about trying to change the conversations around death to the point where you and I could just have a chat and say, 'What was your first experience and how did that affect you? And how are you feeling about losing your parents? And what have you done to organise that?"

"We are all going to die. So how about we just put a little bit of effort into leaving well, and then you can actually really live well."

Produced in partnership with CareerOne.