My parents think I’m stupid to go travelling in my 30s – are they right?
Jacqueline Hurst is a life coach and best-selling author. Here, a reader asks her about going travelling instead of continuing with life as it is. The reader asks: "I’m at a bit of a crossroads in life and it’s causing me a lot of anxiety and sleepless nights. I’m in my 30s and at the beginning of this year I went through an unexpected breakup that completely knocked the wind out of my sails. This was the person I wanted to be with the rest of my life and we were going to buy a flat together. I know it’s cliché but I’m now considering leaving London and going travelling for three to six months. I have a stable job where my salary isn’t incredible but it pays the bills and I have saved enough for a small deposit for a flat. I don’t have mummy and daddy’s money to fall back on but I have this urge to get out of London and take some time for myself after wasting energy on someone else for so long. It took me ages to find this job and I do enjoy it but I would have to quit to go travelling and I know the job market is really up and down. Shall I take the savings and buy a flat, or go travelling with it? I really don’t know what to do. My parents think I’m nuts for quitting a stable job and 'frittering away' my deposit. It scares me that I could come back and have no job, no flat and no savings. But I feel ill at the thought of just slogging away and continuing my life as it is." (Photo: Getty)
An exciting time
Jacqueline responds: "I know you might not want to hear this, but I think this breakup could be such a positive thing for you. Breakups feel like the worst thing in the world but I promise you they’re usually the catalysts to something fabulous in your life. Years on, you rarely look back and think 'I wish that never happened'. Going through breakups and course-altering challenges have always made me a better person – I’ve learned so much about myself. I am really grateful for all of those experiences. Without this happening, you would have stayed doing what you do – in your words “slogging” unto eternity. Who knows what experiences you would have missed out on. I know it feels scary right now, like the rug has been pulled and you’re teetering on the edge of a major life decision, but if anything it’s an exciting time." (Photo: Getty)
It doesn’t need to be either/or – do both
She continues: "If it helps, you’re not alone. Micro-retirements, months-long breaks to travel or indulge in hobbies, are trending among millennials and Gen Z right now; in the UK, 19 per cent of workers aged 27-34 were on sabbatical in January 2024. More than ever, people are prioritising rest, rehabilitation and the 'life' in work-life balance. As we should. I think the first question you need to ask yourself is: why does it have to be either/or? Why can’t you do both? Why can’t you settle on a middle ground? It seems like it’s not so much the travelling you’re worrying about, but more the anxiety about returning home with 'nothing'. I would never suggest you blow all your savings on one thing. So do both: half and half. Make sure you’ve got a buffer of savings. I would take half of whatever deposit you have saved and keep that in your bank account reserved for your future flat. Take the other half, budget appropriately and travel for as long as it will let you. Why should we wait until our 60s or 70s to enjoy ourselves? Nothing is guaranteed. If you have the means, I would encourage people to do it now." (Photo: Guenter Guni/Getty/)
Try not to worry about other people’s opinions
"I know it will be hard to hear your parents taking such a negative hardline opinion on what is ultimately your decision. People are very good at telling you what you should and shouldn’t do, and that’s usually them projecting their fears. Their worry – even though it is full of love – is not yours to absorb, and so you have to be very careful with that. Fundamentally, you have to have enough belief in yourself to be able to tune into what your gut is telling you to do. Your mum may have been taught by her mum (and so on and so forth), that if you’ve got a job, you’re really lucky and you should stay in it forever. But there are generations of women who haven’t had the choice or chance to be able to see the world, and may have regrets later in life." (Photo: Getty)
Nothing is promised – make the most of being young and unattached
"Life is short, but it’s also long. Work will always be waiting for you when you get back. It may not be your current job, but what I mean is that there will be plenty of time in your life to commute and go to work every day. Decades of it if you choose. This is a wonderful time to pick up and travel and do these sorts of adventurous things, because when you get older, you might meet someone, settle down and have kids, and you’re never going to have that kind of opportunity again. It’s easy for us to stay in our comfort zone – it’s often the safest option. But the need for security and stability can often also keep us quite small. This experience will expand your mind on so many levels, make you grow, recalibrate you, give you thinking space. There is no doubt that you won’t evolve. It sounds like the right time for you – it’s almost like the universe has put everything in place for you to finally take the risk." (Photo: Getty)
Prioritise rest and expansion
"I know we live in a society today that encourages us to work 24/7, push hard, hustle, or be always on, but sometimes we need to just do nothing, like sitting on a train and staring out the window. It’s when we can collect our thoughts, reflect, and sometimes that’s when our minds feel this surge of creativity. Taking a break from all of it – the heartbreak, London, the memories – will be a really good thing. I’m a real believer in treating your mind like you treat your body at the gym. When we go to the gym, we want to build muscle and get stronger. We push ourselves right? But we also have rest days so we can repair tissue and muscle. We need to approach nurturing our brains with the same energy. And you won’t do that chugging away at your same old job. People come back from trips with passion projects or ideas that completely make them switch rails career-wise. It really can make you look at your life and figure out what’s important to you – maybe you want to work with animals, or with charities, or move to a different country. There are so many things that could happen when you’re away. You could meet someone important – a lifelong friend, a networking opportunity, a romance. It could make you consider a completely different career. The trip could completely alter the course of your life. You won’t know unless you go." (Photo: Jack Taylor/Reuters)
