The family holiday mistakes you should never make

Ruby Fresson

I love family holidays. Possibly I love them more than any sane person should. I love the annual wrangle to get sun cream on the children, and I love searching foreign supermarkets for souvenir tat that they can hand over to their friends back at home. I even love the fact that my husband tears through the airport at 100mph – before inevitably slowing to a crawl at the InMotion headphones section just as our boarding gate is called.

I’ve learned to love it all, but it’s not been without pitfalls. Family holidays bring interruption to well-oiled routines, complicated logistical juggles of taxis, hire cars, flight and hotel check-in times, and the possibility that something could go wrong far from home.

With all that in mind, my dos and don’ts of family holidays are set out below. Featuring old passports, naughty grandparents and million-pound travel insurance claims, they should help things go seamlessly.

Do check the passports ahead of time

Unlike adult ones, passports for children aged 15 and under last only five years rather than 10. Couple this with the fact that many countries demand at least six months’ validity on the document to travel, and mistakes are easy to make. Official guidance suggests leaving three weeks for both first applications and renewals.

Do invest in travel insurance

Less than half of Britons buy it for every trip, a study by Condor Ferries has found. But in a sample of data obtained by Which?, medical expenses made up more than half of all claims. One claim in 2024 even ratcheted up more than £1m in US medical bills and repatriation, according to the Association of British Insurers. Fractures account for a high percentage of claims, and as children and broken bones go together like fish and chips, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Don’t bother booking a hotel with a kids’ club if your little ones are introverts

You will spend days wistfully glancing over at said kids’ club while you build sandcastles on the beach with your child (who refuses to as much as pop one Croc-shod toe through the door to see the promised science experiments, dressing-up and adventure playground).

Ruby Fresson

Do pack the car with plenty of time

With a second child, the packing seems to multiply exponentially. Which may explain why – despite putting it by the door the night before we jetted off on every holiday – my husband and I still left our son’s pushchair behind almost every time. It was no problem at the airport, where they had ones for loan (presumably because we’re not the only stupid people to have forgotten them, but possibly because other equally stupid people have checked theirs rather than taken it to the gate). At the other end? There’s little option but to buy another one.

Don’t think car sickness will ‘be OK’

Because it never is. And when you’ve finished the last of the Kwells and a small person has just vomited into your sun hat (and onto the hire car upholstery), you’ll never feel farther away from home.

Don’t hire a car seat

On the above note, just imagine what horrors have befallen that car seat before it was handed over to you by a terse employee. But it could be worse than just old sandwich crumbs and leaky nappies. If something really goes wrong, such as receiving the wrong car seat for your child’s age or receiving a damaged seat, you may find your options limited. Bringing your own makes this part of the trip more predictable.

Do bid farewell to holidays of the past

Ruby Fresson

You know the type – long lie-ins, boozy lunches by the beach, cocktails at sunset. Those things no longer exist for you. Instead, it’s at least a decade of water parks, petting zoos and ever more elaborate sand creations, followed by five years of TikTok-inspired shopping and sulky mutters of “I’m booooored”.

“Holidays don’t become worse with children, but they do become more layered,” says consultant counselling psychologist Ritz Birah, an expert on mental resilience and founder of the journalling app Reflect with Dr Ritz. “What many people aren’t prepared for is the quiet sense of loss that can sit alongside the joy. There can be a grieving of the kind of holiday that once existed and the fantasy that it might still be possible in the same way.

“Making peace with that often involves acknowledging both realities at once. You can love your family and still miss what holidays used to feel like. When that feeling isn’t recognised, it tends to come out as frustration or disappointment.”

Do pick a child-friendly destination

They love children in Italy. Once, on a plane to Milan, a seemingly endless procession of nonnas cooed over our daughter while she wailed miserably. In Japan, they treat children like royalty. But in France? Not so much. I’m thinking, very specifically, of the time an old woman shouted at me on the bus for encouraging my child to stand up so she could press the bouton for our stop. Some places (Italian trattorias, Spanish beach clubs) are brilliant with children. Others (Cornish local pubs, Corsican restaurants) aren’t.

Don’t be beholden to sleep schedules

I know, I know. It’s taken three years to get the little rascal to snore through the night. But welcome to a whole new challenge.

First there’s the bed situation. “Under the age of two-and-a-half they cognitively don’t yet understand the concept of staying in bed – so if you are trying this for the first time, you may expect a mix of excitement or jumping in and out of bed,” says Jade Zammit, an expert in child sleep who suggests packing a portable bed guard.

Ruby Fresson

If they’ve only ever napped in their own cots, you can bring your own or check with your hotel to see if they have cots available for little ones. But you don’t have to abandon all excursions over nap time. “Don’t be tempted into staying room-trapped,” she adds. “Buggy naps can be great.”

Finally, she says: “Remember, the sun, swimming or activities will tire them out. If they need that extra nap before dinner, let it happen. They’ll likely be up later than usual anyway and get to enjoy the evening with you as well.” Unless, of course, you yourself have fallen asleep.

Do consider leaving the grandparents at home

In-laws are a funny thing, aren’t they? You might imagine they’ll look after the children at some point while you enjoy a romantic dinner, only to be surprised when it’s they who take themselves off to a candlelit restaurant to “get a break from the noise”.

“Bringing grandparents on holiday often comes with assumptions that don’t fully hold up in reality. It’s worth asking in advance: how likely is it that the support you’re hoping for will actually be offered in the way you need it?” says Birah.

“Family dynamics don’t disappear in a different setting. If needs have historically been difficult to express or respond to within the family, a holiday is unlikely to change that on its own. A more helpful approach is to be realistic about what each person can offer, and whether those needs can be clearly communicated and received. When expectations are grounded in reality, there is usually less tension to manage.”

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