TikTok Is Now Full Of Fashion Tips For The Rapture

THE RUNDOWN:

• Evangelical Christians in the US are anticipating the Rapture, an event that predicts the ascension of believers into Heaven
• The rumour has gone viral on TikTok with #rapturenow appearing in over 300,000 posts
• Many TikTok users are providing practical tips for how to make the most of the big day, and these have extended to fashion

If you ask evangelical Christians on TikTok, today is the big day. That is, the day of the Rapture, a biblical event in which Jesus himself will descend from heaven, scoop up true believers, and leave the rest of us behind to endure seven years of unspecified but we suspect probably not very fun divine judgment.

While Washington Post has already published a killjoy headline (“If You’re Reading This, The Rapture Probably Didn’t Happen (Again)”), they clearly didn’t listen to South African pastor Joshua Mhlakela closely enough. He gave two dates, September 23 or September 24 (US time). So, here in Australia we’re still comfortably in the Rapture zone until the 25th. 

While the Rapture,  first described in Paul’s First Letter to the Thessalonians, has been predicted before, this particular YouTube prophecy, posted back in June, has gone wildly viral. This is understandable given the apocalyptic vibes currently going down in the US, where Rapture panic has taken hold.

On TikTok, #rapturenow appears under more than 300,000 videos. Sure, many are poking fun at the fervour, but plenty more contain sincere advice for thriving during the Rapture, whether you’re one of the damned or of the chosen few. A surprising number also contain practical fashion and beauty tips. If we’ve learnt anything from The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, it’s that fashion is just as serious a business in evangelical circles as it is in the secular world.

TikTok’s Top Tips For Surviving The Rapture

Don’t Look Down

Image: TikTok @sonj779

So — what if you’re among the lucky few who do ascend?

In a video that has since been made private (tragically, as it contained some solid practical tips), TikTok user @sonj779 offered a few key pearls of wisdom. The #1 rule? Don’t look down. It’s easy to forget in the excitement, but as you’re shooting skyward, resist the urge to check in on Earth. There’s nothing worse than landing in the Kingdom of Heaven with a bad case of vertigo, and if you’re afraid of heights, the ride to the outer atmosphere will take the shine off what should be a joyful day.

“I definitely don’t recommend looking down, I think we all learnt that lesson from Lot’s wife,” she warns. Lot’s wife, of course, being the unnamed woman in Genesis who disobeyed God’s instruction, turned to witness the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, and was transformed into a pillar of salt. Her fate is a time-honoured warning against attachment to worldly things.

The takeaway? Just like evacuating a plane, in the event of the Rapture, you’ll need to leave the Balenciaga City bag you nabbed on eBay behind. 

Sonj779’s final tip? “Don’t be on the toilet.” The scenario hadn’t crossed our minds,  but now that she mentions it, she’s completely right.

Audit Your Cursed Objects

Image: TikTok @arabella

Speaking of Balenciaga City bags, if you’re hoping to sneak onto the guest list at the last minute, one creator suggests you cleanse your wardrobe of any items that could be harbouring demonic energy — like designer clothing.

Arabella (who needs to drop the hair routine immediately) says people are focused on the wrong things. “We’re all worried about the things we’re leaving behind, like scriptures for demons that enter our homes and wonder,’ where did everybody go?’ But we’re not worried enough about the demonic clothing we’re holding onto. Jesus doesn’t have access to eBay. You need to leave demonic clothing outside by midnight if you want to ascend. You will not be getting into heaven if you’re still in possession of a Fall/Winter 1996 Alexander McQueen piece.”

She doesn’t clarify whether she’ll be carting her Dyson Airwrap Coanda to the afterlife, but okay.

Other devil-wrought collections include Olivier Theyskens’ Fall/Winter 2001 and Spring/Summer 2002 — it’s time to let go.

We think her assumptions about Jesus’s internet access are a little presumptuous… but it sounds like killer archival looks will be low on the ground in heaven.  

How To Dress For Success (And Ascendance)

Image: TikTok @jennalu

You’ve ditched your McQueen. So what do you wear? 

TikTok user @itsjennalu has us covered. In 1 Thessalonians 4:13–17, it’s stated that those who ascend will be remade in Jesus’s image, so we can assume a wardrobe change will be needed once you ascend. But what about on the way up? 

“These are a few things to keep in mind if I’m chosen during the Rapture,” says Jenna Lu, making this whole cosmic reckoning sound like an episode of America’s Next Top Model.

“Number one, I’m planning on wearing a denim mini skirt from Hollister, with built-in underwear, so nobody can see my underwear when I’m ascending.” This is actually incredibly astute, Peeping Toms are going to be watching the Rapture happen from the ground. 

“I’m probably going to wear a white top — probably with little bows, in case they give me my wings right away.” We think she’s a little off the mark here and would recommend a Toteme Racerback Tank instead, but okay.

She adds, “I’m going to be putting on my makeup before I go to bed tonight, in case it happens while I’m sleeping.” If you’re looking for a high-altitude setting spray, we’ve got you covered.

Image: TikTok @kendallmalinchock

Kendall Malinchock notes that we have little idea what the weather will be like once we relocate—but we do know it will get chilly in the sky. “We don’t really know what the weather is going to be like, but if we physically ascend, then it’s going to get a little chilly in the atmosphere,” she says. “But, when we get there, it might be really nice and warm.”

Malinchock recommends a shearling vest with open sleeves to keep you cosy while allowing for easy adjustment as the weather changes. Or, of course, a classic pair of jeans paired with a timeless camel-coloured coat. “I think this coat just screams, professional, I’m ready for the rest of my life.”

And if you want to ingratiate yourself quickly? Opt for overalls. “Jesus was a carpenter,” she notes. “Plus, it says ‘I’m ready to work, I’m ready to get my hands dirty and change the world.'”

So, now you’ve left your Tabis at the door, let he who is without a curated wardrobe cast the first stone.

FAQ