I used a donor to become a mum at 43 – my daughter has 47 siblings
A woman who became a mum by using a sperm donor found out that her daughter has 47 siblings. (Photo: Jess Nuremberg/ SWNS)
A woman who became a solo mum by choice found out her daughter has 47 siblings after joining a Facebook group of parents who used the same donor sperm.
Jess Nuremberg, 44, decided to have a child alone after not wanting to wait for the right partner to start a family.
She chose a donor based on their shared values and, after six rounds of IVF, welcomed her daughter Kaia, now one, in May 2024.
Jess is now planning to meet up with some of Kaia’s half siblings, saying she has found a “community” with the other mothers.
Jess, from Los Angeles, California, decided to freeze 34 of her eggs at the age of 33 after coming out of a long relationship.
Jess Nuremberg embarked on her journey to become a mother after coming out of a long-term relationship. (Photo: Jess Nuremberg/ SWNS)
“I was fearful I was running out of time to meet somebody new,” she said.
She decided to defrost 17 of her eggs when she turned 40 and still hadn’t met someone she wanted to become a parent with.
She had some minor concerns about whether people would judge her decision to become a solo mother, but says that as she has gotten older she has developed a thick skin.
Additionally, all of Jess’ friends and family were extremely supportive of her plans.
She purchased some donor sperm but sadly none of her eggs made embryos, which Jess says was a “huge gut punch”.
“I had this belief that if you freeze your eggs in your 30s, you’re going to be protected from having children in the future,” she said.
Jess went through six rounds of IVF before welcoming her daughter in 2024. (Photo: Jess Nuremberg/ SWNS)
Instead of defrosting the rest of her eggs, Jess decided to try IVF instead and went through six rounds between the ages of 41 and 42.
She ended up with three healthy embryos and did some research into reproductive immunology, a field of medicine which looks at why your body is rejecting an embryo.
After hiring a doctor who specialises in this field, Jess was put on a “cocktail of medications” including blood thinners and steroids, and her first embryo was implanted successfully.
Jess said: “I took an Uber by myself to the hospital as my waters broke two weeks early, so there was no one there to support me.
“Giving birth alone was one of the most magical moments, because I realised I’m empowered to do all of this by myself.”
Jess says she loves being a mother but has found some aspects of doing it by herself a challenge. (Photo: Jess Nuremberg/ SWNS)
Jess says she has loved every moment of motherhood so far, from the “adorable” newborn stage to watching her daughter walk and talk.
Although Jess is overjoyed to have become a mother, she has found some parts of the experience to be a challenge.
For example, having to make big decisions like which preschool her daughter will go to all by herself has proven hard.
She has also struggled with the pressure of being able to continually provide financially for her daughter and has created a trust and a will, as well as taking out life insurance in case anything should happen to her in the future.
As Jess’ family live far away, she has hired a live-in nanny, to help her out with childcare.
“She’s like a second mum, helping me to raise her,” she said.
The financial burden of being a solo parent has made Jess ‘99%’ sure she won’t be having another child. (Photo: Jess Nuremberg/ SWNS)
Jess says she spends around thousands of dollars a month on childcare and school, as well as food, clothing and other expenses.
Due to the financial and logistical load of raising a child alone, Jess said her “shop is 99% closed”, when it comes to having another child.
“There’s a lot of financial hardship that comes with doing it alone,” she explained.
“Now my pay check comes in, and the money comes straight back out again but it’s for a very good reason.
“I think doing what I have done is an incredible path to motherhood, but it is a privileged path, as the cost of having children is extraordinarily high.”
Though she admits she found the Facebook group ‘overwhelming’ at first, Jess has found ‘real connections’ with the parents of Kaia’s half siblings. (Photo: Jess Nuremberg/ SWNS)
Though she is a solo mum, Jess says she has found support in an unlikely place.
After another mum showed her a Facebook group of parents who used the same donor sperm as her, Jess found out her daughter has 47 siblings, all under four years old.
Jess says she now sees the 47 children, and their parents, as her “extended family”.
“[Kaia] may not have siblings in the home, but she has a community of half siblings,” she added.
Jess admitted that finding the Facebook group was “overwhelming” at first, but once she met the other mums she began to form “real connections”.
She said: “I hope Kaia forms long lasting relationships with her siblings and that a true extended family grows out of them.
“The group has made me feel far less alone, what could have been an isolating journey is now shared with so many others.”
