Retired couple allow 6 and 9-year-old neighbors to use swimming pool, end the arrangement when mom requests to host daughter's birthday party there
- There's a difference between being neighborly and being taken advantage of.
- Image 1 of 20
- Image 4 of 20
- Image 5 of 20
- Image 6 of 20
- Image 7 of 20
- Image 8 of 20
- Image 9 of 20
- Image 10 of 20
- Image 11 of 20
- Image 12 of 20
- Image 13 of 20
- Image 14 of 20
- Image 15 of 20
- Image 16 of 20
- Image 17 of 20
- Image 18 of 20
- Image 19 of 20
- Image 20 of 20
Retired couple allow 6 and 9-year-old neighbors to use swimming pool, end the arrangement when mom requests to host daughter's birthday party there: 'They need to consider getting one of their own'

There's a difference between being neighborly and being taken advantage of.
Most people who live close to others really do not want to be seen as the problem neighbor. Life is a lot more pleasant when those who live in your local area think of you as a nice and considerate person, and besides, fostering community by doing favors and hosting social events can prove to be a very rewarding thing to do.
At the same time, there are neighbors who can't help but take a good thing and ruin it, leading to some awkward conversations. They see the people who live near them being generous, and think that is a cue to take as much from them as they can. Some are happy to keep giving, but many others see this kind of behavior as crossing a boundary. If this is an inconvenience where they are getting nothing in return, they will start to have second thoughts about being nice.
The only way to put a stop to these kinds of arrangements is clear communication, but not everybody is going to be reasonable about this. Even if they are, some feel guilty about putting their foot down and no longer accepting what they once tolerated.
Image 1 of 20

Aerial view of a backyard with swimming pool, fire pit, and deck
In this story, an older couple spent a couple of years allowing their neighbors' two young daughters to use their swimming pool during periods of warm weather. What started out as an arrangement that would happen every other week turned into multiple times a week, and the frequency with which they requested the pool was becoming a problem.
The final straw was when the mom asked if she could host a birthday party at the pool for her youngest daughter, inviting five of her friends. The couple declined, citing liability reasons. Although the mom accepted the decision, there was some anxiety that they had been too harsh.
Am I wrong for telling our neighbors that our pool is off-limits? (Image 2 of 20)

Image 4 of 20

Image 5 of 20

Image 6 of 20

Image 7 of 20

Image 8 of 20

A female child with swimming goggles on her head rests her head and arm on the edge of a swimming pool
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
Image 9 of 20

Image 10 of 20

Image 11 of 20

Image 12 of 20

Image 13 of 20

Image 14 of 20

Image 15 of 20

Image 16 of 20

Image 17 of 20

Image 18 of 20

Image 19 of 20

Image 20 of 20