Top 8+ Book Club Etiquette Rules Your Fellow Members Wish You Knew

From snacks to social graces, there's more to book club than reading.

There’s more to book clubs than simply reading books. These monthly gatherings turn a solitary hobby into a fun social outing that allows you to relish in your reads with others and rant about whatever plot twists (or plot holes) left you reeling. Having grown even more in popularity recently, book clubs let you combine thought-provoking stories, spirited discussion, and hopefully some good snacks. What could go wrong? 

Well, we’ve noticed that, as with any occasion, there’s etiquette that needs to be reminded—even at book club. We asked Southern Living editors, who hail from various book clubs, the dos and don’ts of a Southern book club. Here’s what they said. 

Planning To-Dos

Schedule Far Enough Out

Perhaps the biggest struggle for book clubs, especially depending on the number of members, is finding dates that work for everyone and give the appropriate amount of time to read the book. That way, no one feels pressured or rushed, and therefore not as excited for the meeting. 

Hosting Doesn’t Stop at Chairs 

What separates book club and your memories of school reading class is that it’s supposed to be fun. While some of that comes down to company and novel selections, of course, it simply wouldn’t be a proper Southern get-together if food wasn’t involved. People will be expecting snacks, and not just a dried-out store-bought veggie plate. “A book club with no snacks is no book club I want to join,” jokes one SL Editor. For some book clubs, it’s helpful to either assign all refreshments to that month’s host or to make every month a potluck of sorts that everyone pitches in on. 

Consider Everyone’s Book Preferences

Another common complaint is that of the book selection. While it is to be expected that certain books will appeal to some more than others, a book club should always keep everyone in mind and disperse the monthly selections fairly and diversely. Another SL Editor added, “Having a system in place for book selection is key, and my book club found that rotating who chooses worked the best.” Voting is also a popular method of selection. 

Discussion Faux Pas

No Shaming Of Those Who Didn’t Finish The Book

While the whole point of book club is to actually show up having completed the assigned reading and ready to discuss, it’s important to always show grace to others, even if it irks you that Tina clearly didn’t get more than halfway. Sometimes, life just gets in the way. However, a caveat: “You may attend without finishing the book, just don't be upset if there are spoilers,” notes a SL Editor. 

Don’t Dominate the Discussion

It seems a repeated annoyance at book clubs is that person. You know, the one that dominates the conversation and, at times, seems like they just like to hear themselves talk. The polite way to proceed is to say your piece and let others speak; you should never notice that you’ve talked much, much more than anyone else. 

Don’t Be a Bad Listener

The reason you’re having a book club is to discuss the reading together, so “actually listen when other people speak!” begs a SL Editor. “Minimize side conversations if you're having a big group discussion. It only leads to confusion.” The temptation might be there to catch up with your friends, but try to save it for before and after the discussion. Alongside a snack and drink, perhaps? 

You Don’t Have To Speak Every Time

There is some unspoken pressure that you must contribute to every book club discussion, but that’s not true. Odds are (and hopefully so), others in the group have reached similar conclusions as yourself; so if someone else has already mentioned your thoughts, don’t jump in just for the sake of it and waste time reiterating. “You can agree and elaborate if you have something more to add, but otherwise you're just talking to hear yourself speak,” notes another SL Editor. 

Don’t Be Late

Tardiness is an etiquette no-no that Southerners don’t tend to love in any circumstance, but book clubs are inherently about discussing and listening to each other. If someone shows up late, they’ll have not heard what others have said, and might risk reiterating the same points over again and wasting precious discussion time.