Kathryn Grody makes getting older 'exciting' in new solo show

Kathryn Grody in "The Unexpected Third," which tours to Marin Shakespeare Company as part of the "One For All" solo festival. (Mark Garvin/People’s Light)

The pandemic brought Kathryn Grody a new level of fame.

There she was, suddenly spending lots of time together with her always-performing, always touring husband, Tony Award winner Mandy Patinkin, in their country house in High Falls, N.Y. A chance video shot by their son, in which they were honest about a fight they'd just had, went viral, and suddenly they became everyone's favorite squabbling, adorable grandparents.

That led to a podcast, "Don't Listen to Us." It also led Grody to think more deeply about her role as a wisdom-bearing elder.

This month the "Reds" actor brings the result of that meditation, "The Unexpected Third," to Marin Shakespeare Company's "One For All" solo festival, which kicked off Friday, March 6, and runs through March 22. Other performers include Josh Kornbluth, Christian Cagigal, Marga Gomez and Sara Felder.

Grody recently spoke to the Chronicle about her shardlike show, the aging process and what it's like being married to the man behind Inigo Montoya, one of the most quotable characters in Rob Reiner's "The Princess Bride."

Kathryn Grody in "The Unexpected Third," which tours to Marin Shakespeare Company as part of the "One For All" solo festival. (Mark Garvin/People’s Light)

This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

More Information

"The Unexpected Third": Written and performed by Kathryn Grody. Directed by Timothy Near. March 20-22. Free-$105.99. Marin Shakespeare Company, 514 Fourth St., San Rafael. 415-499-4488. www.marinshakespeare.org

Q: One of the things I love about your play is the way it manifests the anxiety of being alive in 2026. What's your anxiety level today, on March 4?

A: My anxiety level is pretty big today. I don't know if you know this guy named Corbin Trent. He writes a Substack called America's Undoing. I can't argue with his analysis, but he gives you no action on what the f- to do about it. I just believe there's always something you can do. It's at the heart of myself. I'm an optimist, both by birth and also by choice. I just think you live a fuller life if you have some hopefulness and agency than if you live in despair and cynicism.

It's funny because my play, I felt, was very truthful when I last did it three months ago. I'm thinking now: Is it dark enough?

Q: What sparked "The Unexpected Third"?

A: I think I've been pissed off about how this culture deals with older people since I was 50 - just the sort of bias about "You're finished over 30." That was probably my generation's fault. "Don't trust anybody over 30" was the Baby Boomers.

Everyone you saw advertising anything in the days of television - if you were an older person, you were on the floor asking for help, or it was talking about dementia, or you were in a "retirement community," or you just weren't seen. I just was mad that it made young people afraid of growing older.

One of the biggest compliments I got when I did the show at People's Light in Malvern (Pa.) was a beautiful young woman came up to me afterwards and said, "Kathryn, it's my 36th birthday, and the gift you gave me is you made growing older look exciting."

Kathryn Grody in "The Unexpected Third," which tours to Marin Shakespeare Company as part of the "One For All" solo festival. (Mark Garvin/People’s Light)

Q: You've also done two other solo plays. What draws you to the form?

A: They're all sparked by things that I'm experiencing personally, that I believe lots of people in the zeitgeist are experiencing, but I don't see represented in the culture particularly.

When I had my second son, I was asked, "Are you working now or just staying home having fun?" That just kind of blew my mind, that I could seriously be asked that question. I went to Joseph Papp (founder of the Public Theater), and I said," I want to answer that question theatrically." Joe said, "If you write it, I'll produce it." Those were the days! I said, "No, I need a place to write. I can't write at home." He gave me a desk at the public theater and a Selectric. That's how long ago that was.

Q: In the new piece, you do make aging look exciting, but you don't sugarcoat it either.

A: I tried to be honest. I think one of my favorite moments is when I talk about how I was looking at all my other friends' crepey skin and being so grateful I didn't have that. Lucky me, so exceptional. I do like calling myself out.

My son Gideon, who has been a very active collaborator on this piece in some ways, is really big on me calling that - you know that part where I say, "I know my frustration with the world is always shaking hands with myself"? He's very sensitive to me thinking I'm superior to any other human that is behaving badly.

Kathryn Grody and Mandy Patinkin of the show "Seasoned" pose for a portrait during the 2025 Tribeca Festival at Spring Studio on June 8, 2025, in New York City. (Bryan Derballa/Getty Images)

Q: In one moment in the show, you say you initially resisted Mandy Patinkin's advances because one actor in a relationship is enough. Why is that?

A: Part of it was "Well, that would be boring, both of you being in the theater." I also think I was understanding that there was a certain amount of narcissism being a performer and thinking I had enough for both. I don't think I'm full blown; I just have tendencies. And I knew I wanted to be a mother, and I just didn't imagine how that would work.

It's funny what you imagine your destiny is and what you think you're in control of. When I look at it now, it just makes so much sense because we've both been a huge part of encouraging each other. I'm very moved by the fact that I was at the very first concert my husband ever did, when he was thinking he wouldn't say anything, or would he be able to do it? And then, of course, he didn't shut up, and it was like watching somebody find their natural skin.

Q: With the videos that the two of you started doing during the pandemic and then the podcast - the fact that you are appearing together and in the public eye so much more - I wonder how that's changed things for you as artists and partners. Because I really see two equal people.

A: Thank you. Truthfully, it's quite bizarre for me. My best friend for 50 years was Diane Keaton, and then I had my husband. So I was quite used to being with the two of them. People would come to a table, and I would just automatically sort of scoot back my chair, because I would figure somebody's coming for Di or coming for Mandy.

I think it's changed. I certainly wouldn't be having the audiences that I've been having come to the show without that social media. I do get, three or four times a day, "Wow, we appreciate you." I think people are so scared right now, in general, and they're so exhausted from the vitriol that we all live in, that any encouragement means something.

I'm embarrassed to quote myself, but I'm going to. I keep thinking lately of something I wrote in that first play "A Mom's Life," where I speak to my baby, and I say, "Please stay the way you are. Don't lose your baby teeth. Don't grow or change, because the way you are is perfect. And I'll stay this way, too. But living things do grow. And living things change. And I don't want to be like those beautiful butterflies under glass that are not flying anywhere."

Celebrate the possibilities as long as you have them, and use your very being to combat the meanness, the mean-spiritedness. I feel every stranger I have a decent interaction with is a small victory. That's like a stone in the water.

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