Jessie Buckley gave her husband an ultimatum about his cats and the internet is purring about it

Jessie Buckley spotted a dealbreaker when she first started dating her husband: his cats.

The actor, who is nominated for an Oscar for her role as Agnes in “Hamnet,” opened up about her distaste for cats back in November while appearing on Josh Horowitz’s Happy Sad Confused podcast.

Jessie Buckley Gave Her Husband an Ultimatum About His Cats and the Internet Is Purring About It

Now, the video is resurfacing and prompting some spirted reactions from cat lovers. Here’s everything you need to know, including insight from a therapist.

What Did Jessie Buckley Say About Her Husband’s Cats?

While interviewing Buckley and her “Hamnet” co-star Paul Mescal, Horowitz asked the actors if they were fans of dogs or cats.

Both of the stars were quick to say that they’re dog people.

“I don’t like cats,” Buckley said.

“F--- cats, honestly,” Mescal said.

“Cats are mean,” Buckley added.

Buckley went on to explain that her aversion to cats runs pretty deep.

“When 1 started dating (my husband), he had two cats. This is bad, so I’m going to get canceled. One of the cats was like a pedigree model (b----) and she staged like a coup against me. I’d come home and there’d just be like poo on my pillow. And I was like, ‘It’s me or the cats,” she recalled.

“She didn’t like this interloper. ‘This is my house.’ And you took over,” Horowitz said.

“But I won! Sorry,” Buckley said.

What Are People Saying About Buckley’s Comments?

Now that the video has resurfaced, social media users are sharing strong reactions to Buckley’s statements.

“Their hate for cats makes me so sad. How can someone have such a general hate towards all cats?” one YouTube user wrote in the podcast’s comments section.

Another YouTube user commented, “Great, Hamnet is ruined for me. Can’t stand people who treat pets as if they’re accessories you can ‘get rid of’. Even worse to force a partner to do it for you.”

One person shared the following sentiment: “Its fine if you aren’t a cat person, but talking about them so rudely and making your significant other give theirs up just makes you both seem awful.”

“I’m more of a dog person myself but even whenever someone asks me that I’ll say so without it coming across as if I hate cats,” one person commented.

One Reddit user said Buckley’s husband was “at fault too” for agreeing to give up his cats. Another said they’d always err on the side of “picking my pets.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t really matter to me what kind of pet — it could be a snake or a frog, I still think it’s a red flag to give someone an ultimatum involving living things,” one person wrote.

What Do Experts Say About the Situation?

Is It Ever OK to Give Your Partner a Pet Ultimatum?

People tend to develop strong emotional connections with their pets, so asking them to find a new home for one of their fur babies can be a monumental request in some cases.

With that in mind, is it ever OK to give your partner an ultimatum about their pets?

Cheryl Groskopf, a dual-licensed attachment and couples marriage and family therapist and professional clinical counselor, cautions against the use of ultimatums.

“It’s a choice you can make, but it’s rarely a healthy way to make it. An ultimatum is usually a sign that someone’s in a threat state and trying to regain control fast,” she says.

Melissa Legere, a licensed marriage and family therapist, said the ultimatum could have long-term consequences.

“When someone asks a partner to choose between a beloved pet and the relationship, they’re essentially forcing a high-stakes decision that can create long-term resentment, even if the person agrees. Pets often function like family members emotionally, so the request can feel equivalent to asking someone to give up a part of their life or identity,” Legere says.

If pets are a dealbreaker when you start a new relationship, it’s best to go into the romance with knowledge that your partner might not want to give up their pets for you.

“If you truly hate an animal and you’re not open to change, don’t date the person expecting them to downgrade their life to fit your preference,” Groskopf says.

How to Handle the Conversation If It Does Come Up

What should you do if your partner presents you with an ultimatum about your pets? For starters, Groskopf recommends approaching the conversation with respect for your partner and understanding.

“Start with reality and responsibility instead of treating it like a ‘Who’s right’ conversation. You can say something like, ‘Hey, I like you. I also need you to know that my pet isn’t a hobby. It’s a living creature I’m responsible for,’” she explains.

Pet owners should go into the conversation with the ability to communicate their values “calmly and early,” Groskopf says.

“If the pet is non-negotiable, it’s better to say that upfront rather than hoping a partner will eventually ‘come around.’ Clear boundaries actually make dating simpler because they prevent resentment later,” she says.

If you’re the one asking your partner to consider finding a new home for their pets, it’s important to be specific about why you’re making this request.

“A lot of people say ‘I hate cats’ when what they mean is ‘I feel out of control around animals.’ ‘I get overstimulated by noise/smell/hair/litter.’ ‘I’m scared of being scratched/bitten.’ ‘I had a bad experience and my body remembers it,’” she says.

The pet owner should also be honest about life with the pet looks like, Legere says.

“In my experience, people sometimes assume they’ll ‘get used to it,’ but intense discomfort with a partner’s pet rarely disappears overnight. Ideally, the couple should talk honestly about what daily life would look like, sharing space, cleaning, responsibility and emotional attachment to the animal,” she says.

You can always do a trial period before moving in together, create pet-free zones or hire a pet trainer if behavioral issues are your concern. Groskopf says this can help ensure that the conflict “doesn’t turn into a test of loyalty.”

“When couples frame it as ‘prove you love me more than the pet,’ the relationship tends to move into a competitive dynamic that’s very hard to sustain long term. Healthy partnerships usually look more like, ‘How do we make room for the things that matter to both of us?’” Groskopf says.