I’ve been travelling solo for 15 years – these are the seven lessons I learned

I didn’t set out to travel in India alone, but when my boyfriend at the time had to head home early, I was keen to stay – I wanted to continue exploring, and I decided not to let the lack of company stop me.

As I boarded a sleeper train, my head was ringing with warnings of things that could go wrong for a woman alone in a foreign country, and I was crossing my fingers that nothing bad would happen.

But nothing did. My confidence grew as I travelled north from Varkala on the coast of Kerala to the ancient temples in Hampi and on to Mumbai. My greatest problem was a monkey stealing the coconut I’d bought as a refreshment after climbing 1,001 steps up to Chamundi Hill temple in Mysore.

Jessica Furseth became more confident travelling in India alone

Solo travel continues to rise, according to research from Skift, which also found that women are more inclined to travel alone the older they are.

I get it – more than ever I relish the complete freedom. I don’t have to consider whether my companion will be interested in a museum dedicated to Danish designer Finn Juhl and I can stay as long as I want.

I still think about the week I spent driving down California’s Big Sur coast with Fleetwood Mac on the speakers, stopping wherever I felt like it.

But it has also taught me to trust my instincts – when to avoid trouble, but also, when to take a chance. Here is what I’ve learned in my 15 years of travelling solo. 

It is liberating

Even if I don’t do anything “exciting”, simply being able to do whatever I want without considering anyone else is amazing. I can ruin my appetite for dinner with too much gelato. I can bail on the Rijksmuseum and have a nap in Amsterdam’s Sarphatipark instead; one of my favourite memories is waking up on the grass with a duck staring at me at eye level. 

Quiet days spent at Sarphatipark Park in Amsterdam can be rewarding (Photo: Robert vt Hoenderdaal/ Getty Images)

Sometimes I want to go somewhere easy

I loved the adventure of India, but the near-constant interaction with people could be overwhelming and I was warned to be off the streets by 10pm.

It can get lonely

One unseasonable spring weekend in Paris I definitely got that “what am I doing here?” feeling when it was too cold to enjoy la vie en rose at a pavement café.

Sometimes it’s nice to phone home for a bit of familiar connection, but when I start to feel like this, it’s a sign that the “anything goes today” approach needs to give way to firmer plans.

It’s more stressful when things go wrong

I had my bank card blocked three times in India, requiring expensive calls back to the UK. I have a backup card now, but the lesson learned has been to not leave things to the last minute – getting flustered leaves you more vulnerable as a woman travelling solo. I’ve also learned never to arrive alone in a new place at night – the dark makes things seem stranger. 

If I get a bad feeling, I’m out

It doesn’t have to make sense – it’s not worth the risk to be “polite”.

Thankfully nothing truly bad has happened to me while travelling alone, but I no longer second-guess my gut feelings and simply excuse myself from any interaction that starts to feel uncomfortable.

I watch my drinks very closely, and I’ve learned it’s a lot easier to wear a fake wedding ring and casually mention my “husband” than to explain I’m travelling to get a break from everything, and that, sir, includes you.

Jessica in Copenhagen

I know when to go for it

Instinct doesn’t just warn me, I’ve also learned to trust it when it’s telling me to take the plunge.

I’ve left my wallet in the care of strangers on a Copenhagen beach – I wanted to go for a swim, and I trusted the situation (I also had another card at the hotel).

I also went on a date with a stranger in Amsterdam; he took me to GlouGlou, a wine bar that’s become one of my favourite places in the city. We’re still friendly.

GlouGlou bar has become a favourite spot in Amsterdam (Photo: Instagram Glouglou Bar)

No one is looking at you

That’s what my mother used to say when she made me try on jumpers in the middle of the shop floor – and she was right. Being alone may make you feel a little vulnerable, but most people are too busy to pay much attention.

No one cares if you’re eating alone in a restaurant – just bring a book. That’s what I did in Barcelona, when I sat down in a café and ordered lunch and coffee, then wine and then dinner – I ended up staying into the evening, at ease with the freedom of choice. It was almost 10 years ago, but I still think about it.