Top 35+ Posts About The Funny Names Kids Give Things

Few people approach the level of creativity that children bring to the English language. 

In fact, the funny malapropisms and original turns of phrase that kids come up with are often superior to the official terms. At least, that’s what their parents seem to think. 

Below, we’ve rounded up 35 posts from parents on Threads, Bluesky and X about what kids call things. Enjoy!

My 7yo calls the universe the "university" so she'll be like "I love you more than the whole entire university" lmfao

— kayla• (@mosgx2) March 6, 2025">

My 3yo: Mommy, I want more chicken leaves for lunch.

That’s what she calls a chicken caesar salad. 💀

— Princess | Mindfulness | Conscious Parenting (@themultiplemom) June 11, 2024">

Five year old keeps referring to the lasagna he is helping to make as the Yolanda. Please have children.

— Mother Grundy (@MotherGrundy) March 10, 2025">

My 7yo keeps referring to the medicine cabinet as 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑟, so now I'm expecting Nancy Drew to show up at any minute to investigate

— meghan (@deloisivete) January 17, 2025">

8: 🎶 on the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, three French Men…🎶

No one correct her.

— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) November 9, 2024">
itsdeenalang/Threads
niki.puls/Threads
henpecked_hal/Threads
kaylirosereads/Threads

5yo kept calling Gordon Ramsay "Golden" Ramsay and I was like ha ha how silly of her until I said it out loud and was like omg?

— K. (@kourtneyinhell) March 8, 2025">

My 6yo has informed me that in the event of tomatoes we need to go into a small room or basement

— meghan (@deloisivete) July 11, 2024">

How my 6 yr old refers to getting his blood drawn: “the crazy place where they sucked my blood” 🤦🏻♀️

— Michelle Penczak (@michellepencz) June 17, 2022">

My three year old refers to shorts as "tiny little pants". And honestly, I think he's on to something there.

— Cecily (@ItIsMeCecily) June 22, 2024">

My 7yo forgot the word for intestines and called them "meat lines in the stomach that are taller than you" so we are not putting him in charge of naming things

— meghan (@deloisivete) January 22, 2025">

My 3 yr old refers to Gatorade as “gator raider” and I honestly hope she does forever.

— PR0F!T💸 (@profitvspr0phet) December 19, 2022">

I will never get over the fact that my 4 yr old refers to geese as"hissing ducks"

— Daniel (@WVDanielM) November 27, 2024">

My daughter calls thunder

“funder”

When she eventually starts saying it correctly I’ll prob cry

— Stephen Olmon (@stephenolmon) May 6, 2025">

My almost 4 year old refers to the calendar as the “calendater” and I honestly think it makes more sense. Something to consider @MerriamWebster— Craig Blum (@Real_Craig_Blum) January 20, 2025">

3yo calls movies "smoothies"

She's walking around the house loudly saying "IT'S TIME TO WATCH A SMOOTHIE" haha

— Mother Goose (@tradmother) August 26, 2024">
tracybaduawrites/Threads
laurenlopes.author/Threads
ilovepie84/Bluesky
amybrown.xyz/Bluesky

My 7yo calls the thing that carries your stuff to the gym a “truffle bag” and I like it better

— Stephen Buehler (@sbuehler) December 2, 2023">

The 5yo calls a stomach ache a tummy egg, which is cute, but a couple weeks ago I strained my piriformis muscles during a run, and they're still spasming off and on, which is extremely painful, so she is saying that I have a really big butt egg.

— Chris🥃 (@MixingChris) May 10, 2025">

Twitter (Photo: Twitter/Canva)

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