Five travel scams you shouldn’t be falling for … but might if your guard’s down

The London Clip Joint scam

Watch out for friendly strangers in Soho. Pic: as appeared in Escape

Young and dumb enough to think that a random attractive woman in a Soho doorway was just dying to strike up a conversation with me, we got chatting. Never in my young life had I felt more attractive. Especially when she inferred that if I came downstairs with her, there might be some afternoon delight partying on the cards. Because that’s what happens in real life right? Wrong.

The dingy basement was a rag tag assortment of ripped leather couches and the saddest stage you’ve ever seen. The woman in question then asked me to buy her a drink. Being a generous guy, I agreed to one. Then another. And one more after that.

My growing sense of unease was confirmed when I was presented with a bill for 120 pounds. It was made clear by a man the size of a Tarago that I was, of course, free to leave when I had paid up. In cash and with minimal implied bruising. Mortified and a little afraid, I was accompanied to an ATM and liberated of almost $250.

Moral of the story: You’re not that hot. Unfeasibly attractive strangers are not and will never be so spontaneously attracted to you without an overriding plan to rid you of dollars.

The Fiji handicrafts scam

Don’t be naive on the streets of Suva. Pic: as appeared in Escape

Again, I literally walked into something I shouldn’t. Nothing good can come from a conversation that starts with “where are you from” only to followed by “g’day mate” in a terrible Aussie accent when you say “Sydney”.

This jovial icebreaker is designed to make you stop walking. In this case, it was followed by a list of the miscreant in question’s favourite Wallabies. Here I was in Suva bonding with a stranger over footy. Isn’t this what travel is all about?

And yes, I wandered into his handicrafts store because he seemed like a good bloke. Which is where the mood changed when a trio of blokes in speed dealer shades and blasted on kava made it clear via intimidation that it would be very rude not to buy an exorbitantly priced wooden trinket. They used silence as a weapon. Along with the phrase “you get that one now”.

I couldn’t leave without making it more awkward than it already was. I was tempted to go to the police but nothing illegal had taken place and I was bit embarrassed about it all – which is precisely what they were counting on.

Moral of the story: Avoid the shopfront touts and be wary of their attempts to bond.

The Hua Hin seafood scam

There’s something fishy going on here. Pic: as appeared in Escape

Naivety is not a good travel buddy. At this bustling night market, I made the mistake of assuming that the prawns on the menu tallied with the crustaceans on the ice. Turns out the chilled ones I pointed to where in fact not prawns at all but market price scampi. Of course this was only pointed out when the bill arrived.

I got the feeling that this restaurant owner had done this dance before and it was a slick bit of linguistic sleight of hand. It was double the price and delicious but still left a slightly bitter taste in the mouth.

Much like tangoing, it takes two to build a scam and – like all the scams listed here – my lack of smarts made me at least slightly complicit.

Moral of the story: ensure and confirm that the food you are pointing to tallies with the actual menu.

The Uffizi painting scam

Don’t even let your feet brush the artwork. Pic: as appeared in Escape

Situated on the river Arno in Florence amid some of the most ornate architecture in Europe, The Uffizi Gallery precinct is virtually designed so that you look up. Add to this the fact that over five million people traipse through its narrow thoroughfares every year and you’ll realise that pavement space is at a premium.

Which is exactly why scammers with cheap prints lay out their wares on the road and sidewalk. Because they know that at some point, some visitor is going to plant a Nike on their ‘Carravagio’. Cue the blustery outrage that you have ruined this precious artwork.

Short story: an A4 print cost me 50 Euro just to make the scene he was causing go away. And it wasn’t just one guy letting off. He was joined by an outraged chorus of fellow vendors who pointed out that I was taking food off this bloke’s family table.

Moral of the story: Look where you are stepping and don’t take a friendship bracelet from anyone except Taylor Swift.

The Vietnam visa overstay scam

Be vigilant with your Vietnam visa. Pic: as appeared in Escape

Look, this one was pretty much my fault but it still had the whiff of grift about it. Mea culpa: my visa had expired 12 hours before my flight and the airline staff pointed me in the direction of a government office in the airport that I needed to report to.

When I got there I was informed that I would need to pay a fine of around US$200. Also, due to a laborious paperwork process, there was no way I could possibly make my flight that day. So accommodation would be required et cetera. If, however, I raced to the airport atm and took out US dollars, the kindly official would turn a blind eye to my misdeed and I would be allowed to travel.

I duly did as requested, the cash went into a drawer and I made my flight. Perhaps it was all kosher but it did feel off.

Moral of the story: be vigilant with visa expiry dates.

Don’t be too hard on yourself

The reasons these scams work on even the most experienced traveller is that they have been refined over decades to take advantage of the more trusting, less suspicious people we all become – and should become – on holiday. It’s nothing to be embarrassed by. They are cleverly designed to strike when our guard is down. Here are some other schemes to be aware of.

This article first appeared in escape.com.au as Five of the most shameful travel scams I’ve ever fallen for